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Ask Sarah: My boyfriend doesn’t want to use a condom

My boyfriend doesn’t want to use a condom

How should I tell him we need to use a condom without scaring him?

Dear Sarah,

I used a condom my first time. Now my boyfriend doesn’t want to use one anymore, but I think we need to use one. How should I tell him we need to use a condom without scaring him? Please help!


Dear anonymous,

Your partner may not be supporting the use of a condom, or he may actually be completely against it. Some guys don’t like the way sex feels with a condom on, but is that a good reason to make sex less safe and risk pregnancy or STD’s?

ALSO READ: Here's how to pick a condom that will make sex with him better

However, it's your body and your choice. It's up to you to protect your own body – no one else is going to protect it for you. While you want to please your partner and give him the best sex possible, ignoring your own needs and wants – especially when it comes to protecting yourself from pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases – isn’t going to do either you or your partner any good.

It’s your choice if you want to have sex without a condom or not, despite what your partner says. If you want him to wear a condom, make it a requirement that he wear one if he wants to have sex with you. If he doesn’t want to wear a condom at all, let him know that you’re making the decision not to have sex with him unprotected and stick to it.

READ:  #WorstSexExperience: His tool was a like a little thumb surrounded by a forest, I want my sex back!

You can also use female condoms. The female condoms are now available and are as efficient at reducing the risk of pregnancy and STD’s as traditional male condoms. A female condom is made from polyurethane – not latex – and isn’t as stretchy or pliable. A female condom has a ring on one end covered in polyurethane, and a hollow tube of polyurethane connecting to a larger, more flexible ring with an opening.

ALSO READ: Here's how to put on a condom properly

The smaller ring is inserted into the vagina against the cervix, while the outer ring stays outside the vagina and folds over the labia. During sex, a man’s penis nor his ejaculate can come into contact with the woman’s vagina, as the ring and tube of polyurethane protect the cervix as well as the walls of the vagina. If your partner refuses to wear a male condom, consider placing a female condom inside you before sex.


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