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Cham Ku Baai Ke Nin Association: The Age-old Coronavirus of South Sudan


By Zack Mayul, Juba, South Sudan

Monday, June 01, 2020 (PW) — It’s the ability to loot, rob, steal and lie to the public. Other weaknesses that have been seen by the mass population are excellent appetite towards public funds, nepotism, tribalism, sexual swapping for jobs, arrested development, lack of transparency, being politically paranoid and zero tolerance in achieving.

Cham ku Baai ke nin is a disease. Like Corona, it affects people between the age of 45-90. Cham ku baai nin, like Corona, is also a Virus. You can never treat it. No treatment has been done since it’s out break. Not even a vaccine has been found to prevent it, either.

The good news is that it doesn’t kill people immediately like the C’s: Corona, Cholera, and Cancer. The sad news is that the doer of the action can subjects the sufferings to neighbors, colleagues and fans.

Remember, Cham ku baai ke nin has no tribe or gender. So feminists, if you’re used to balancing every equation on everything, kindly take the back seat and let’s carry on with our class of today. Understood? Thank you.

The major symptoms of Cham ku baai ke nin are low interests in giving opinions, lack of developmental agendas, accountability, victims easily getting angry for no reasons, sycophancy, name them. For the purpose of not prolonging this lectures, let’s shorten it to CKBKN.

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So the most spoken words by CKBKN are: beny, zol kebir, akuma, moulana (mind the spelling) or aku.

The Cham Ku Baai Ke Nin Association (CKBKNA) has failed this country. This association has affiliates in ministries, courts and in every community. They block ways for those who don’t kiss their *sses and worship them.

Now, the foreigners have learned their tricks and they’re doing the same thing on innocent citizens. Who would blame anyone, anyway? No one. Not here either because their offsprings are the surveillance cameras on social media.

A Kenyan brother would come and start bribing the big guys and run his illegal stuffs and then later moves back to Kenya to become a motivational speaker in Githurai or Nyeri. “I know people who know some people”, they would always say. This is the phrase invented by Kikuyus and Bagandas right here in Juba.

The “some people” in this case are the ministers, some generals (don’t think of members of parliament, they barely eat anything beyond the parliamentary premises) and few individuals working in the UN sector.

Who do you blame, here? Everyone. Everyone is a culprit except the minister in charge of tourism. He doesn’t know why he got employed but he is still cool with it though.

The other day, a friend of mine tried to do some business with the government. The contract was awarded to an Eritrean. For your information, every member of (CKBKNA) is everything apart from being graphic a designer. Why do you really award all the businesses to outsiders and leave behind your very own people that voted you out from half-time brothers from Sudan?

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Anyway, my humble appeal to this association (CKBKNA), we don’t know the use of Central Bank anymore, you can take it. You can take Ministry of Finance, Petroleum and, now that you have taken full control over Ministry of Health and Ministry of Investment. Damns and Energy is a sham ministry, we’re used to torches and candles.

Now that we have decided to give up on everything. Here is the thing, since all of you (zol kebir, bany, moulana, and aku bitahi) can’t protect us from Corona, kindly start sharing with us genuine results and safety measures.

We’ve agreed to sleep and then leave you to eat. Kindly be sincere enough to us; because, your sons, daughters, nephews and nieces, one day, might need some of us to open bottle of beers for them when this thing comes to an end.

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