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What to do [and what not to do] when visiting a man [or woman] in Juba

September 7, 2019 Evelyn Atim and Oliver Gatluak

(Eve’s Pulse)

So, one of the most interesting things I saw on twitter today, [and I say interesting in a very judgmental way] is the gist of how some Lawyer babe from Juba University was accommodated by a guy in Gudele and she did the wildest thing before she left.

According to the user, the lady in question had left a pile of crap in the toilet of his guest room unflushed. And he had had to meet the all that dump hours later when his house was smelling like… well, you know how stuff like that smells. We’ll let you read the gist in man’s own words below:

With that said, we thought it would be very important for us to do a very quick crash course on what to do, and what to not do when you are visiting a man or woman in Juba or anywhere in South Sudan.

Always call ahead

A very obvious number one, yeah? Don’t barge on people without prior notice. Don’t be unfortunate ma. Don’t be unfortunate, sir. Want to visit anyone, call head. Text ahead. Just do something to give them a heads up.

As for boyfriends and girlfriends, the situation may be a little less straightforward than that and we have already talked about that special case here.

Use every rest room with sense

Your toilet manners

When you visit anyone, it is only courteous and behoves you to clean up after yourself. It’s just common sense. Whether you be man or woman, whether you be Lawyer or doctor, don’t leave swollen sh**t in someone’s toilet. 

Offer to help

Are they trying to make a meal to host you? Try to help and mean it. Offer your assistance even if it’s to do little, small things while they do the real work. Just offer. Many hosts and hostesses would decline but hey, just offer. Have some sense. Especially if it’s the first time you are visiting them.

Don’t expect them to serve you and clear your plates

You know, another common sense thing. But apparently, some people aren’t so in tune with common sense these days. So we’ll remind them in this crash course that getting up to clear your plate after enjoying a free meal is what sensible people do.

Guys, don’t expect a babe to cook for you

Err, gentlemen, no one ones you the duty of cooking for you just because she has a v***. The skill comes to men, too, and it’s not estrogen-driven.

If a babe offers to cook, yeah. If she is not interested, go get her a meal or make her one if you invited her over. Don’t let your testosterone level rise to the level of overflooding your thinking faculties.

Have some sense, dude.

Behave yourself with their food

Who remembers that one time when one guy came to Twitter to rant about some babe who almost finished his loaf of bread and crate of eggs when he asked her to help herself to the food?

Yep. That’s the kind of thing you should be avoiding at all costs.

A good host and a good guest No one will need a Twitter thread afterwards [Credit – Animal]

Sex is not assured

That she visited does not mean she wants sex. That she agrees to sleep over does not mean she wants sex. That she borrowed your shirt to sleep is not to be interpreted as a desire for sex.

What only counts as consent is an expressly stated agreement on the part of the initiator and the other person who accepts the offer of knacks.

Without that being present at all stages of foreplay and intercourse, what you have is rape.

Please do not rape anyone’s daughter. Do not rape anyone’s son either.

And long and short of this gist: bring your best behaviour at all times. And if you must lose your home training, let it be when they are used to you, and never forget that some things, such as cleaning up after yourself are never forgivable.

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